{"id":6413,"date":"2020-02-25T23:34:37","date_gmt":"2020-02-25T22:34:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/janze-athletisme.fr\/wordpress\/?p=6413"},"modified":"2020-02-25T23:36:08","modified_gmt":"2020-02-25T22:36:08","slug":"un-peu-dhumour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/janze-athletisme.fr\/wordpress\/un-peu-dhumour\/","title":{"rendered":"Un peu d’humour…"},"content":{"rendered":"

C’est bon d’en rire un peu…<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

Ce soir, R\u00e9mi-Lucien est inquiet. Il a pass\u00e9 la journ\u00e9e sur internet \u00e0 tra\u00eener sur des forums, Doctissimo, et autres sites d\u2019actualit\u00e9. La raison ? Il est persuad\u00e9 d\u2019avoir contract\u00e9 le coronavirus. <\/span>
\n Oui, le fameux Covid-19 qui fait trembler le monde depuis plusieurs semaines, celui-l\u00e0 m\u00eame qui pourrait causer l\u2019annulation du marathon de Paris !<\/span>
\n R\u00e9mi-Lucien est aux abois. Il ne cesse de se r\u00e9p\u00e9ter qu\u2019il n\u2019aurait pas du commander ces manchons de running sur aliexpress il y a 6 mois.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Et qu\u2019on ne lui dise pas qu\u2019il y a 6 mois le virus n\u2019existait pas encore ! R\u00e9mi-Lucien en est convaincu : il est infect\u00e9. Comment expliquer sinon qu\u2019il se soit senti aussi f\u00e9brile sur la s\u00e9ance de mardi soir, qu\u2019il n\u2019ait pas pu r\u00e9agir aux attaques de ses camarades d\u2019entra\u00eenement, qu\u2019il ait m\u00eame fini son dernier 1000m derri\u00e8re Baptiste-Alexis, alors qu\u2019il lui a mis 10 secondes \u00e0 tous les cross cette saison ?!<\/span><\/p>\n

Non, il n\u2019y a rien \u00e0 faire : R\u00e9mi-Lucien se sait condamn\u00e9. M\u00eame si pour l\u2019instant ses sympt\u00f4mes ne se limitent qu\u2019\u00e0 un l\u00e9ger asthme d\u2019effort et \u00e0 quelques courbatures (qu\u2019il ressent uniquement quand il pratique une activit\u00e9 physique mais qu\u2019il commencera certainement \u00e0 sentir au repos s\u2019il y pr\u00eate assez attention), il sait qu\u2019il n\u2019y a plus de machine arri\u00e8re. Il a d\u2019ailleurs command\u00e9 un masque d\u2019oxyg\u00e9nation sur Nike Running ce soir pour bien le signifier \u00e0 son entourage. <\/span>
\n Et aussi pour \u00eatre styl\u00e9 lors de ses Stories footings…<\/span><\/p>\n

Sorti du travail plus t\u00f4t, R\u00e9mi-Lucien en a profit\u00e9 pour foncer \u00e0 la pharmacie et tenter de n\u00e9gocier quelques m\u00e9dicaments. Un peu de ventoline ne lui ferait pas de mal : c\u2019est \u00e9vident. Face au refus du pharmacien et aux all\u00e9gations des coachs TONY et Franck et de ses camarades de club insinuant qu\u2019il paie simplement ses 100km\/semaine effectu\u00e9s m\u00e9thodiquement depuis Octobre (l\u2019un d\u2019eux a m\u00eame os\u00e9 prononcer les mots \u00ab tu t\u2019es cram\u00e9 trop t\u00f4t \u00bb), R\u00e9mi-Lucien enrage. Personne ne semble se rendre compte de la gravit\u00e9 de cette \u00e9pid\u00e9mie. Bon sang mais cela pourrait lui co\u00fbter ses championnats de France de cross !<\/span><\/p>\n

Apathique, il se terre dans son lit en jetant un dernier coup d\u2019\u0153il \u00e0 Strava. Il en profite pour synchroniser sa montre connect\u00e9e et renommer sa sortie de dimanche \u00ab Pas de jus. Sans doute touch\u00e9 par le coronavirus \u00bb<\/span><\/p>\n

Au moins comme \u00e7a il pourra expliquer une \u00e9ventuelle contre perf aux championnats de France. A moins qu\u2019ils ne soient annul\u00e9s. Foutue pand\u00e9mie.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

C’est bon d’en rire un peu… Ce soir, R\u00e9mi-Lucien est inquiet. Il a pass\u00e9 la journ\u00e9e sur internet \u00e0 tra\u00eener sur des forums, Doctissimo, et autres sites d\u2019actualit\u00e9. La raison ? Il est persuad\u00e9 d\u2019avoir contract\u00e9 le coronavirus. Oui, le fameux Covid-19 qui fait trembler le monde depuis plusieurs semaines, celui-l\u00e0 m\u00eame qui pourrait causer […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-sections","post_format-post-format-aside"],"yoast_head":"\nUn peu d'humour... - Janz\u00e9 Athl\u00e9tisme<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/janze-athletisme.fr\/wordpress\/un-peu-dhumour\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Un peu d'humour... - Janz\u00e9 Athl\u00e9tisme\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"C’est bon d’en rire un peu… Ce soir, R\u00e9mi-Lucien est inquiet. 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